Becoming an adult is so difficult. People always say 'Growing up is tough', but you never really realize how tough until you are there. I am in this strange transitional stage of going from being a kid to an adult, but the funny thing is, I haven't felt like a kid for so long.
I think, when you go through traumatic experiences as a child it leaves you feeling like you have to act more like an adult, it makes you feel like you are an adult, but in reality, emotionally you are still a child.
For years I felt like I was a grown up, but I was just lying to myself. I was acting mature, and doing things that were ahead of my age, but those were just actions. Outwardly I was very mature for my age, but inside.. inside my head I was still a kid. I just wouldn't let myself admit that. And now, now that I am 19 years old and I've finally let myself feel, I realize how behind I am emotionally for my age.
I've begun my journey into adulthood, it was a rough take off and it has been far from easy so far, but I am moving forward. You can only move forward. Time keeps ticking by even when you want it to so badly stop, so I suppose this will be my place to document my thoughts and achievements and failures.
An empty 'sheet of paper' is always intimidating, and I can't lie. I spent 3 hours with this open, unsure of how to start... but now that I have, I must keep going. And it will, at the very least be something meaningful to me.
I feel like the Old Woman and the Sea...
I hope the waves take me some place wonderful. But, we will see.
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